Step #1 – Do You.
Have no apologies for who you are. If you fit in, great. Perhaps you found your tribe. If you don’t fit in, don’t beat yourself up about it. If you feel like the people around you aren’t speaking your language, perhaps it’s time to seek out a new flock of friends. Wearing unnecessary a masks to fit in or avoid facing your reality is very imprisoning and can lead to hopelessness. It’s easy to feel lonely in a crowd when we aren’t being ourselves. Being who you are doesn’t mean you have to be selfish, it just means you make yourself known and encourage similar openness and sharing with others. You may be an introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between: what is important is that you do what makes you feel most comfortable.
Step #2 – Let Wildness In.
Stepping into the wilderness does wonders to the vibrational energy of our bodies and our nervous systems. There’s a subtle reassurance that everything you need to know, you already know and everything you don’t know may eventually be revealed in time without struggle and without desperation.
The wilderness strips us of competition and comparison and invites us into a state of peaceful awe. It also offers a reflection of our individual relationship with life versus being just a mere part of the human race. Who are you without people? You may just find this answer in the wild. It’s powerful medicine.
“When you get the blanket thing you can relax because everything you could ever want or be you already have and are.” – Bernard Jaffe, I Heart Huckabees
Step #3 – Hear the Voices.
Open up to your life’s purpose and your heart’s deepest desires by listening to the voices inside of you. There’s a lot of dialogue going on — some incessant, some nonsensical — but if we learn to listen more sincerely, we’ll discover that a deeper, all-knowing conversation is happening. It takes practice to hear this guidance as it takes practice to hear your heart’s desire, to trust your gut and to listen to your intuition.
Pay attention to the whisper and the serendipitous moments that remind you of what’s important to you. Keep listening and keep following the signs. You have the ability to live a life that’s true to who you are and a life that you really want.
Listen like your life depends on it.
“Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts.” — Rita Mae Brown
Step #4 – Take the damn risk already.
Make choices that put yourself first — above everything and everyone else, even those you love and cherish the most. If you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t do what is best for you, your relationships will eventually suffer. Trust in the fact that doing what is best for you is best for everyone even if it doesn’t feel like it at first. Sometimes sacrifices have to made. People will get hurt and there will be losses, but the rewards gained from following your heart are absolutely everything in comparison.
Do something difficult for no other reason than that you like to do it.
Step #5 – Believe.
The secret formula: Believe in yourself and people will believe in you. Don’t give up due to predefined perceptions and limitations of yourself. Don’t give up because of the perceived effort. Millions of people give up before they even get started. They fail to realize their potential and give up as soon as they reach the first hurdle. Why? They don’t believe in themselves.
If you don’t believe in yourself you will end up throwing away your creativity and ideas. On the other hand, if you believe in yourself, you will no matter the outcome, find success even in what you perceive as the greatest of losses.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anais Nin
Step #6 – Use your body and love who and what you are.
It’s never been about the symmetry of your face or your body. It’s about the light that shines from within.
Have you ever witnessed a person that has been in a tragic, body deforming accident who has come out stronger, more compassionate and yes, even more beautiful? Their light shines so bright that after just a few minutes, you don’t see their asymmetry anymore, you simply feel and connect with their light.
If you see yourself as mere looks, if you believe your worth is merely skin deep, others will see you and judge you the same. Aren’t you more than that? Remember, no matter what you do, your looks will eventually fade. What will remain is the fire that burns within. Stop smothering it with delusional judgments and superficial shape chasing. Stop holding yourself back from life because you don’t believe you look good enough.
Self-love exercise: go look in the mirror and tell yourself: You never ever were more beautiful than you are right now. Believe it.
Use your body in every way that you know how. Allow the intelligence of your vessel to reveal and share with you the secrets of the Universe — the secrets of You.
Step #7 – Defy your genetics.
Evolve from the base point you’ve been born into. Don’t allow the limitations of your parents or their parents deter you from your path. See it all as potential to evolve your bloodline, your genetic makeup, your life to a place where neither you, nor your ancestors, have ever gone before. YOU hold the torch.
If you are the black sheep of the family, be grateful. The path can be lonely, but know that you broke free. Celebrate this freedom.
You are the architect of your existence.
Step #8 – Integrate into wholeness.
Accept all parts of your life. All parts. This is one of the deepest healing elixirs you can ever offer yourself. Allow it all to integrate — your mind with body, your body with spirit and your entire being with all of the experiences of your life. Accept your irrevocable wholeness. When you accept what has been, what you thought was and what is, you loosen your grip on delusions, limitations and stale beliefs that hold you back. What’s left? Space. Space and room to expand into the shape you are naturally, wholly and fully with a deeper sense of truth, wisdom and compassion.
Step #9 – Paint a spectrum of love for all.
Serve and be accepting of others — of what they want to create, what they want to be and what they envision. Remind them to do everything it takes not to fail. Remind them that the bad that comes along with the good is the journey and the most beautiful, most fulfilling experience anyone could ever have. Offer and support a new way of living, thinking, creating, even working — listen and be open to the ways of others.
Have conversations that make you smile and ponder. Offer solutions that bring us closer together versus farther apart.
Step #10 – Take the time to do nothing.
Clear the slate. Erase the chalkboard. Wash it all clean. Don’t do anything. Just let everything be as it is. No matter how it is, no matter what your mind is screaming or what confusion you have in your life, for a few moments or as long as you can each day, let it be. Doing nothing and sitting still, helps us recognize all the ways in which we don’t let go. Explore the profound, beautiful simplicity and subtlety of doing nothing… and all the challenges it endures.
In the most simple instruction from Andrew Cohen: take a seat, be still and don’t do anything.
In the words of The Beatles: Let it be.
Photo: tumblr.com/photographer unknown.
Step #11 – Seek connection versus perfection.
Living an authentic life stems from your ability to be self-aware and genuine in the ways in which you express, react, dance, share, create, listen, etc. — in other words, how you connect with yourself and the world around you. Authenticity also heightens from your ability to be aware of when you are being and/or reacting inauthentically.
Being authentic develops a connection with who you truly are, your real essence, and liberates you from the superficial pressures and expectations of always trying to be perfect.
Step #12 – Recognize that you already have everything you need to be you.
Clear away the small minded and limiting ideas of who you are that keep you bound and feeling small, hopeless, even unworthy. You already have everything — everything you need to be you. In the present moment, you have very clear goals. There is much to be done as you are right now.
Discover the clearing, discover the openness and the deepest part of your own Universe. Tap into your unlimited energy and passion to follow-through.
Living a life of authenticity is a path of personal evolution – and as with any journey, it’s up to you.