The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to.

–Dodie Smith
When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.

–George Bernard Shaw
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

–Martin Mull

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

— George Carlin

Remember as far as anyone knows, we’re a nice normal family.

— Homer Simpson

This family has had its differences and we’ve squabbled, but we’ve never had knife fights before, and I blame this house

— Marge Simpson
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it.

— Buddy Hackett

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

— George Burns
Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.

— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

One’s family is the most important thing in life. I look at it this way: One of these days I’ll be over in a hospital somewhere with four walls around me. And the only people who’ll be with me will be my family.

— Robert C. Byrd

It used to take courage–indeed, it was the act of courage par excellence–to leave the comforts of home and family and go out into the world seeking adventure. Today there are fewer places to discover, and the real adventure is to stay at home.

— Alvaro de Solva
Hamlet is the tragedy of tackling a family problem too soon after college.

— Tom Mason
The family seems to have two predominant functions: to provide warmth and love in time of need and to drive each other insane.

— Donald G. Smith

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

— Cary Grant

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.

— Queen Elizabeth

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don’t go by any rules. They’re not like aches or wounds; they’re more like splits in the skin that won’t heal because there’s not enough material.

–F. Scott Fitzgerald

When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.

— Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.

–Desmond Tutu 

The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us to become our best while looking our worst.

~Marge Kennedy

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. 

~Jane Howard

The family is one of Nature’s masterpieces.

~George Santayana

And, finally…

If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secret of getting along — whether it be business, family relations, or life itself.

–Bernard Meltzner