marti jeffers

I have recently stopped my sleep medications, prescribed when my husband recently died and I was dealing with the unreality, fear and pressures of those first few weeks.

So the very first night I dreamed of him.

In my first dream about Lewis I am in the middle of a catastrophe in which I have driven (perhaps plowed would be the better word) my car into a strange basement and I am trying to rearrange basement clutter so I can turn my car around and get back up the way I came in. He suddenly and unexpectedly comes to my side saying I have a phone call, handing me a cell phone to my ear. I am at first upset that he is doing this and catching me at such an inopportune moment. Suddenly I realize he is there with me and stop to look at him and am filled with longing. I go to him and he gathers me into his arms. I wake up feeling the comfort of his embrace.

Two nights later we are in another dream, playful and enjoying each other’s company. I have on some roller skates and am plowing to gain traction and he is watching me take off.

And then two more dreams in which 1) I am with my son and I am feeling protected in his presence 2) I am driving with my son across a gorge on a narrow space and the road beneath our tiny vehicle suddenly disappears. He warns me that we are losing traction. We breathtakingly make it to the other side. My notebook computer is hanging precariously on the ledge nearby.  I wake up as he is reaching down to fetch the notebook…hoping he has secured it for me.

I wonder if this has to do with the fact that so much of our family history is stored on the notebook. A plethora of family pictures, letters, and other important legal documents.

I have now had one good, good long night’s sleep without those pills.

My ability to enjoy life is beginning to restore itself.

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